It’s a Hard-Knock Life

Waves off cape Hedo photo by Ashe ArterberryIt’s a Hard-Knock Life

Life is never easy. If it’s easy, you’re probably doing it wrong, or at least, missing out on a heck of a lot. There are going to be a million and one difficult things that happen in your life.

You will fall down in front of a crowd. You will mortally embarrass yourself at least a hundred and fifty times. You will be heart-broken. You will develop an ailment or health problem. You will lose a loved one. It all ends when you finally die. Maybe life killed you and maybe you had enough, either way, at some point it stops, but until you get there, there’s a heck of a lot that can go wrong.

My life hasn’t been easy. It just hasn’t. In trying to boil down why my life hasn’t been easy I’m going to suggest several things. For the heck of it–let’s use bullet points.

  • I come from a broken family. I grew up without a father. My mother had to leave my father, terrible things would have happened otherwise. Then when I was not even ten, my father died of cancer. I only remember seeing him once before he died.
  • I grew up in poverty. I wasn’t dirt-dirt poor, but I lived in government assisted housing for a while as a child. My mother was later able to secure a house using a loan program for lower income families. I still never had the advantages a middle-class child would have had growing up.
  • My home life was awful. With the advent of my mother’s second marriage, there was constant argument in the home. I was never subject to physical violence, per se, but there was a lot of contention in the home and it was highly stressful.
  • I have suffered from depression my entire life. Seriously. The entire thing. I remember being young and just wanting to be dead and not really knowing why. I later found out, through a lot of research, that depression was pretty much a given considering a medical condition I have.
  • Moving on, I have an autoimmune disease. I was born with it and it’s brought several ugly friends along with it to ruin my life. This autoimmune disease has probably been the thing I can blame the most problems in my life on.
  • I may be getting a divorce. Marriage isn’t easy, but it’s especially not easy if someone makes you feel like dirt and seemingly doesn’t care that they do this to you. There are other things that make marriage difficult, but this one is the worst.

These are the biggest failings and trials in my life. There have been other things that were difficult. I worked full-time and went to college full-time, if you don’t think that’s difficult, go move to your own island and be away from the rest of us, because it’s incredibly difficult. I’ve had work problems. I’ve had money problems. All of it pales compared to the points I mentioned.

These have been the things in my life that make it Hell.

The idea is to now become awesome and better despite all of that, which is honestly what I’ve been trying to do my entire life, but I feel this period in my life is a real test. This is a make or break period in my life, so I have to come out better in the end.

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